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A brilliant new addition to the Simon's Cat series
Available for E-Reader (Sony, Bookeen, Iriver, etc.)
Available for Smartphones (Iphone, Samsun, HTC, etc.)
Available for Tablets (Ipad, Android, etc.)
Available for PC / MAC
For anyone who is fed up of being told what to do with their time, or made to feel inferior because they don't want to fly half way round the planet on the off chance that a dolphin might swim somewhere their vicinity, this is the perfect book. A slacker's bible, it is the anti-list book in a world where we are surrounded with too many lists - '101 Things to Buy', '50 Things to do in Keighley' - offering us all too many very avoidable treats. Who has the time to read all these lists, let alone follow up on the suggestions? Is it really such a good idea to touch a tiger? All these ludicrous suggestions should be treated with the contempt they deserve. In short, this is a very funny rallying call for common sense and dignified indolence rather than wasteful over-activity. Now comes the final and best list book of all time, easily trumping those books with 100 or 101 things to do, as Life's Too Short comes up with the top 103 things not to do. You know it makes sense.
Introducing the cat who just wants to be fed...
Academy Award-winning screenwriter and director Nora Ephron (When Harry Met Sally, Heartburn, Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail) turns her sharp wit on to her own life.
* Never marry a man you wouldn't want to be divorced from
*If the shoe doesn't fit in the shoe store, it's never going to fit
*When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you
*Anything you think is wrong with your body at the age of thirty-five you will be nostalgic for by the age of forty-five
*The empty nest is underrated
*If only one third of your clothes are mistakes, you're ahead of the game
I was born on 31 January 1979 - a Wednesday. I know it was a Wednesday, because the date is blue in my mind and Wednesdays are always blue, like the number nine or the sound of loud voices arguing.' Like the character Hoffman portrayed, he can perform extraordinary maths in his head, sees numbers as shapes, colours, textures and motions, and can learn to speak a language fluently from scratch in three days. He also has a compulsive need for order and routine. He eats exactly 45 grams of porridge for breakfast and cannot leave the house without counting the number of items of clothing he's wearing. If he gets stressed or unhappy he closes his eyes and counts. But in some ways Daniel is not all like the Rain Man. He is virtually unique amongst people who have severe autisitic disorders in being capable of living a fully-functioning, independent life. It is this incredible self-awareness and ability to communicate what it feels like to live in a totally extraordinary way that makes BORN ON A BLUE DAY so powerful.
Before there was Darwin, before there was man's best friend, there were . . . Failimals.
The Royal Failimal Society presents the Unchameleon, Bipolar Bear, Emo Emu, and other Darwin-defiant animals that, though fascinating, have clearly become extinct for a reason. The culmination of years of research, study, and observation across each continent and every era, Extinct for a Reason is the definitive field guide to the hows, whys, and whats of Failimals and Evolosers.
With colorful illustrations and vital information on everything from mating habits to defense mechanisms, this book is a must-have for any species considering undergoing the evolutionary process. Learn how to avoid common mistakes, such as:
Alienating oneself from one's peers (see: Goth Sloth)
Refusing to admit one's genes are improperly sized (see: Muffintopotamus)
Having dangerously high levels of charisma (see: Elvisaurus)
Weeded out but still proud, the curious creatures collected within serve as a warning to ambitious animals everywhere: Evolve with Caution.
Struggling with what to buy your Dad for Father's Day? This special gift-edition collection of cartoons from Matt is the answer. From family life to fatherly advice, from Dad hobbies to family distractions, Matt's inimitable take on life is the perfect gift for everyone's father.
Move over Harvard, Stanford, and Wharton--there's a new top-ranking MBA program in town! With the Kasper Hauser Continuing Education Academy, all it takes is a few minutes and a roll of bathroom tissue to earn a fully-accredited executive business degree. For the hundreds of millions of Americans who are looking for better, more successful, and more fulfilling lives--but don't have the time and money to invest in a full-on graduate degree--comes this revolutionary new system that turns crap into gold! With Earn Your MBA on the Toilet, the Kasper Hauser Continuing Education Academy offers readers a complete business education, on subjects ranging from Accounting to Widgets to Business Ethics to Ethical Pickles. Why spend $100,000 and two years on an MBA when you can simply read this book? Written for the busy professional, the unemployed CEO, or the motivated alcoholic, this incredible course condenses thousands of hours of business wisdom into a 72-minute crash course, chunked into 3-minute "jam sessions." After a mere 8 trips to the toilet, readers will be able to hold their own with a finance professor at a cocktail party; after 15, they will be qualified to work as a management consultant for a Bass Pro shop; and by the end they will have a certificate of completion that is definitely, literally an MBA degree on par with the big guys, basically.
Pinterest. Foodies. Anne Frank's underwear. New York Times bestselling author Laurie Notaro--rightfully hailed as "the funniest writer in the solar system" (The Miami Herald)--spares nothing and no one, least of all herself, in this uproarious new collection of essays on rudeness. With the sardonic, self-deprecating wit that makes us all feel a little better about ourselves for identifying with her, Laurie explores her recent misadventures and explains why it's not her who is nuts, it's them (and okay, sometimes it's her too).
Whether confessing that her obsession with buying fabric has reached junior hoarder status or mistaking a friend's heinous tattoo as temporary, Laurie puts her unique spin--sometimes bizarre, always entertaining--on the many perils of modern living in a mannerless society. From shuddering at the graphic Harry Potter erotica conjured up at a writer's group to lamenting the sudden ubiquity of quinoa ("It looks like larvae no matter how you cook it"), The Potty Mouth at the Table is whip-smart, unpredictable, and hilarious. In other words, irresistibly Laurie.