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'The Worcestershire Sauce of conversation.' Stephen Fry
A really good quotation book - one which gathered the truest and funniest insights of the best minds, and organised them into more than 400 subjects, from ambition to worry (or from artichokes to windows) - a book which offered you a useful take on almost every situation life throws at you (from the death of your child's hamster to the unified theory of everything), a sourcebook of wise one-liners, of knock-out jokes, of drole asides and heartfelt statements of truth and beauty, a practical handbook of interestingness, well, that would be worth having. And, guess what? Those thoughtful gentlemen at QI have come up with one.
As well as the quotes themselves, there is a Prologue from the Bantermaster himself, Mr Stephen Fry, and lots of quite interesting background information on the people quoted (and misquoted). Six years of learning how to avoid the dull stuff have left the QI team in a uniquely good position to deliver this elusive holy grail: the big, useful, funny and really very good book of quotations.
Available for E-Reader (Sony, Bookeen, Iriver, etc.)
Available for Smartphones (Iphone, Samsun, HTC, etc.)
Available for Tablets (Ipad, Android, etc.)
Available for PC / MAC
In Confessions of a Bad Mother, Stephanie described how she brought up her children ‘wrong’. Now she unlocks her singular inability (but one which secretly we all share) to grow up: fortyfive last birthday but she doesn't feel any older, but of course she does – as in deafer, stiffer, and less able to read the dosage instructions on a bottle of Calpol. But the supposedly normal challenges of human existence feel frequently as though they are beyond her. Life is constantly confusing, frustrating and, at times, overwhelming. At fortyfive – but only on paper she's still a child in a suit, bluffing her way with one eye looking over her shoulder, expecting any minute to be found out and taken back to the nursery. Of course, that isn’t such a bad place to be. Sometimes she even wants to go back there, but is cruelly aware that she no longer fits the chairs. Also featuring Things to Cook in Stilettos When You’re Drunk, Why I am a Time Lord, A Hundred Ways to Wreck an Evening, Ten Things They Don’t Tell You in Biology and The GrownUps’ phrase book, Stephanie Calman's candid, touching and hysterically funny new book gives hope to bad mothers and failed grownups everywhere: read it and know that you are not alone.
Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid 25 cents to get fired.Your girlfriend dumped you, your car broke down, your boss passed you up for the big promotion. Life's not fair, but there is one sure-fire way to ease your pain-laughing at someone else who had an even worse day than you did. Enter the devastatingly funny world of F My Life, where calamity is comedy. Covering every disastrous pratfall in love, work, family-life, and more, F My Life proffers other people's ruinous, real-life happenings to brighten your gloomiest day: someone getting dumped through a greeting card, ignored at their birthday party, or insulted by their own grandmother. Spanning everything from ironic twists of fate to down-right shameful moments, F My Life's squirm-inducing stories are schadenfreude at its finest. So today, take solace in knowing that at least you're not that guy. There now, don't you feel better?Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. Today, my mom walked in on me looking at a 1978 Playboy. She asked if I found it in the basement. I said yes. Then I realized she was the centerfold. Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woan in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream."From the Trade Paperback edition.
Hej! If you've been experiencing an inexplicable longing for rain, long dark nights, and an overwhelming urge to pull on a slightly itchy looking jumper then congratulations - You have Forbrydelsen Fever. There's no need to panic.
This is your chance to get inside the world of Sarah Lund: from the characters, the plot holes and the politics to the language, dating the Danish way and the jumpers...
So if you've ever wondered who cut the CCTV wire outside Lund's flat in series one, why Morten went so far to protect Troels (TROOOOOOOOOELLLLLLS), where you can start your walking tour of Copenhagen from woods to warehouses and the County Hall or even how you can knit your own Lund jumper - this is the book for you.
Emma Kennedy is a superfan and this is her hilarious guide to everything you're going to need to pretend you are Danish, bone up on everything suspicious and transform yourself into Sarah Lund herself.
*Please note this is not a novel, but a companion book for Reacher fans*
Reacher's own rules for life are brought together in this irresistible collection of quotes, life lessons and wisdom from the man himself.
As every Reacher fan knows, you don't have to break the rules if you make the rules. If you want to survive in this world nothing else matters.
Rule 1. When in doubt, drink coffee.
Rule 2. Never volunteer for anything.
Rule 3. Don't break the furniture.
Rule 4. Only one woman at a time.
Rule 5. Show them what they're messing with.
'I don't want to put the world to rights, I just don't like people who put the world to wrongs'
'Either you'll walk out of here yourself, or you'll be carried out in a bucket'
'I'm not scared of anybody. But I certainly preferred it when he was dead'
If you've read the books, you'll love this. If you haven't read the books, what are you waiting for?
Man Walks Into A Bar is a one-stop shop for anyone who likes to hear and tell jokes. The jokes are ordered thematically - wives, husbands, doctors, lawyers, the French, the Germans, jokes about nuns, jokes about monkeys, the lot. There are also regular panels which group jokes by type too - Essex girls, changing a lightbulb etc. Our material will turn you into the toast of your local pub or make you loathed in your own home - remember, it is all in the telling. From the sublimely erudite to stuff Frank Carson would turn down (the book has a 'world's worst jokes' section), this book can service you with every joke you'll ever need.
What do you call an eskimo chav?
What did the zen student say at the hamburger stand?
Make me one with everything
What's Irish and lives in the garden?
In the sequel to Russell's best-selling biography 'My Booky Wook' we follow the now sober but still scandalous, sex-fuelled star on his electrifying rise to international fame. A roller coaster ride through tours, films, stand up and tabloids - this time, it's personal.
Rarely has a sequel delivered on the promise of the original with such literary and comic gusto. In Booky Wook 2: This Time It's Personal, Russell Brand takes off where his international best-seller My Book Wook left off. Brand is sober and, after dedicating his life and compromising his sanity in the pursuit of fame, he has had his first taste of national notoriety. Does fame bring happiness and inner peace? Not exactly, but it does mean a lot of sex. It also ushers in an unforgettable and raucous ride through chat shows, tabloid scandals, and Hollywood, all the while detailing Brand's search for the contentment that fame can't quite grant. Booky Wook 2 is a "celebrity memoir" unlike any you've read before: more clever and inventive than ever, Russell Brand explores the consequences of massive stardom just as he demonstrates the power of language and wit to make sense of it all.
A flamboyant party host is murdered in full view of a roomful of bridge players...
The Pedant's ambition is simple. He wants to cook tasty, nutritious food; he wants not to poison his friends; and he wants to expand, slowly and with pleasure, his culinary repertoire. A stern critic of himself and others, he knows he is never going to invent his own recipes (although he might, in a burst of enthusiasm, increase the quantity of a favourite ingredient). Rather, he is a recipe-bound follower of the instructions of others.
It is in his interrogations of these recipes, and of those who create them, that the Pedant's true pedantry emerges. How big, exactly, is a 'lump'? Is a 'slug' larger than a 'gout'? When does a 'drizzle' become a downpour? And what is the difference between slicing and chopping?This book is a witty and practical account of Julian Barnes' search for gastronomic precision. It is a quest that leaves him seduced by Jane Grigson, infuriated by Nigel Slater, and reassured by Mrs Beeton's Victorian virtues. The Pedant in the Kitchen is perfect comfort for anyone who has ever been defeated by a cookbook and is something that none of Julian Barnes' legion of admirers will want to miss.